Do you keep giving away discounts or freebies in your business and then get cross with yourself for doing so?
Do you agree to things that you really haven’t got the time for?
This week, there has been a reoccurring theme amongst my coaching clients; what I lovingly refer to as Yes Syndrome: Where sufferers feel compelled to say ‘yes’ to doing things they don’t want to, and which neither serves them or their business.
It is most prevalent among the kind, creative, predominantly female community and seems to affect parents more than most!
This week, my clients have had a range of ‘Y.S.’ moments, from reducing their rates for a completely non-ideal client through to agreeing to an inconvenient family visit to hiring an ineffectual but ‘very nice’ VA.
As a recovering sufferer myself, I have the greatest amount of sympathy for this!
However, one of the differences between running a fabulous hobby and a successful business is setting firm boundaries and learning when to say ‘No.’
It is also the secret to living a life that is filled with less conflict and drama and much more happiness!
Here’s what to do instead…
1. Explore the ‘Why.’
Understanding why we do something is the first step to transforming it.
We say ‘yes’ to things for so many different reasons.
It can be kindness, ‘care-taking’ and wanting to help.
It can also be co-dependence, guilt, lack of self-worth, fear of confrontation, or a history of being around others who have neglected or abused your boundaries.
Getting to the real reason for your ‘generosity’ is the first step…journaling can really help move you forward with this.
Coaching can be hugely beneficial in transforming it.
2. Be Prepared
What (or who) is your ‘weak spot?’ Create a tactical plan in advance that supports you.
For example: The Time-Delay Tactic
If we are put on the spot, it can be more difficult to say ‘no.’ Many people feel pressured into giving an answer immediately, so instead use a ‘delay’ tactic.
Making a conscious choice to delay a decision gives you a better chance of feeling into what’s truly right for you.
3. Use your Intuition
Often we get an intuitive ‘gut’ feeling about what to do. We don’t always listen!
We give the ‘nice VA’ a chance even though we have a screaming suspicion she’s not the right fit.
Stop. Check in with how you actually feel and trust your instincts.
4. Ask yourself the 3 Magic Questions:
- Does it feel good for me to do this?
- Is it bringing me closer to my goals?
- Is it a money-making activity?
If you can’t answer ‘yes’ to AT LEAST ONE of these…..then it’s a NO!